Starting Over

I just want to say that I dont think my ex is the only one at fault for our divorce. I think if we actually tried we could have done something to fix our marriage. After I had moved out I had to move in with my parents and I took my son with me. I had no income coming in and I didnt know where I was going with my life from there. I felt so betrayed and lost that I lost my way. For days I cried myself to sleep just wishing that this was all just a nightmare. I didnt know what I was gonna do with my life and I wasnt sure I could raise my son on my own. All I wanted to do was drown my sorrows in alcohol and not go back to reality. For a long time after the split I would go out and drink with friends and leave my son with my parents. I guess I wanted to be like my ex who could go out and party and hang out and do what he wanted to whenever he wanted to because he had no one to be responsible for. I didnt want to be the grown up anymore, I didnt want to be the one that had to sit at home anymore. I decided to take my life into my own hands and kind of walked away from being an adult. After a while I finally found a job working at a motel and working the desk. I realized then that I what I really wanted was to be loved again and the only way to do that was to take my life and turn it around. I changed my way of thinking and my son finally became my number 1 priority again. For the longest time I didnt feel like I was worthy of being the parent to such an amazing little boy. Its been a long hard road to get to where I am today. Ive had a lot of ups and downs, and twists and turns, and everything in between. Life hasnt been the easiest but it also hasnt been the hardest either. I will say this though, if it wasnt for my little man I wouldnt be the mother I am today. He has helped me get through a lot, hes my best friend. Please feel free to comment or ask questions. But now its time for cartoons so I will say goodnight and sweet dreams, until we meet again.