Two Houses

Music can be a healer and it can also be a killer. Two Houses is a song by Matthew West that I was listening to today that brought a lot of thoughts into my head. I've been a little down the last couple days but it wasn't anything serious, I just get down here and there sometimes. Back to the song I was listening to today the beginning lyrics go "Well, Mom found her a new place to live a nd dad found him a new girlfriend l ooks like everybody's moving on. And it's, "Hey, look on the bright side kid, n ow you've got two Christmases and it's every other weekend from now on." Yeah, but all I want is the way it was when love would always last forever and families stayed together, back to the day before two houses. When they held my hands when I was little before I got caught in the middle somewhere in between two houses." I remember when I was little and I went through this except instead of every other weekend it was every other week. I felt so torn because my mother never really wanted me but I was forced to go to her. All those thoughts made me think of my son. My son is in a similar situation, I have him 24/7 and my ex doesnt take him. It pains me to see all these other dads spending time with their children and my son doesnt get any father/son time. Ya my ex pays some child support every two weeks but I dont care about the money. I dont want him to grow up like I did, where one parent wants you and the other doesn't. Its hard thinking that. Believe me I dont want to think like that, but those thoughts do come into my mind. I wanna believe there is still some part of him in there that I fell in love with. Some part of his old self that loved and wouldnt be acting the way he does. My son deserves a father or at least a someone who can step in and be that father figure to him. Well enough ranting and raving i've got to get to work.